A Year-End Roundup of the Top Notable and Neglected Fictitious Books Every Reader Overlooked

Pushing a wheelbarrow full of books

Every year, thousands of books are published. Most go unread because they’re crap, while others are unread because, hey let’s face it, the majority of the people in this country are not exactly voracious readers. Still, there are other books that go unread because unfortunately they are considered fictitious. I’ve rounded up a few of the best rare and non-existent fictitious books of the past year. If a book on the list piques your interest and you decide you want to track it down and read it, good luck with that.

Badger Village by Scott Bacon. A man moves to a new town and is constantly asked what his deal is. (Travel Fiction)

Rusty Blisters: Private Eye with a Scythe by Coleman Wang. A story about a private investigator who solves cases and carries a scythe. (Crime, Noir)

Quails Bathing in Fountains by Daniela Cartwright. A button found in a flowerpot brings back memories of a beloved pet chimp. (Literary Fiction)

Prank the Commander! by Hans Mead. A passive-aggressive crew decides to mutiny. (Maritime Adventure)

The Pagan Pony by Myles Pipkin. An acrobatic equine refuses to participate in The Crusades. (Historical Fantasy Fiction)

Race Against Nature: Glacier Challenge by Max Stanton. Essays about challenging and racing glaciers worldwide–and kicking ass! (Nature, Sports)

Looking for Pussy on Craigslist by Erwin Watson and Family. The story about a family’s valiant search for their beloved pet cat using the online advertisements website. (Inspirational, How-To)

How to Dress Your Scarecrow for Competitions and Scaring Critters by Beau Hyman. Hint: thrift shops and/or your current wardrobe. (How-To, DIY)

The Olive Bandit of Italy by Vincenzo Peachey. Olives are disappearing and farmers are left wondering WTF? (Mystery)

The Rambling Salt Shaker by Inga Swain. Shaky, the salt shaker is banished to Sodium City after a rise in hypertension. (Kid Lit, Nutrition)

Can’t Even…Take a Selfie by Daisy Tate. A story about two 20-something women getting stoned in the bathroom of some club. (Contemporary Fiction)

The Pork Amulet by Russell Upshaw. A poor baker finds a charm that transforms him into a champion barbeque pitmaster (Magic Realism)

Beehive by Esmeralda Sammons. Debut comic book of the salon superhero who fights crime and gapped up haircuts. (Comic)


Honorable Mentions


The Life of Shouty the Clown: The Clown Who Shouted by Elmer “Shouty” Mcwhorter (Biography)

Red Eyes of Lust by Mafalda Messer (Mothman Erotica Series)

Who Did This: Enhanced Interrogation Techniques to Use on Kids by Annika Krause. (Parents, Self-Help)

Tongue-and-Groove: Erotic DIY Projects by Wilber Kaplan. (Erotica, DIY)

Notorious Bingo Scandals of the 1990s by Vertie Hutchison (Nonfiction, True Crime)

Foggy: The Little Cloud Who Could Not Float Too High by Gidget Egan (Children’s Lit)

Sexy Sleeping: Surviving Nympholepsy by Mistress Xenia (Memoir, Self-Help)

Executive Embalming: Preparing Presidents for Burial by Royce Coyle (History)

I Got Your Dance Right Here!: An Illustrative Guide to Crotch Grabbing in Modern Dance by Alex Brogan (Arts, Dance)

Killing Libido: Bill O’Reilly’s Phone Sex Transcripts by Bill O’Reilly (Horror)